Proper Etiquette on the Mats for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
In the year 2025, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is absolutely considered a mainstream sport practiced by millions worldwide. We’ve got Mark Zuckerberg taking pictures with Mikey Musumeci, Vince Vaughn bringing his kids to class and preaching the benefits, Jonah Hill proudly posting about his blue belt — the list goes on.
But if you grew up in the ’90s or early 2000s, your introduction to martial arts probably looked a little different. For most of us, it was a Karate, Taekwondo, or Kung Fu studio tucked away in a strip mall. Maybe you stuck with it for a while, maybe you didn’t. And back then, before Instagram and YouTube tutorials, martial arts felt a lot more mysterious. We had Kung Fu VHS tapes, grainy fight footage and word-of-mouth legends.
[Why You’re Hearing More and More About Brazilian Jiu Jitsu]
One thing traditional martial arts often have in common is the concept of kata — choreographed forms practiced solo to build muscle memory, breathing control, and rhythm. There’s value in that kind of structured repetition, but in combat sports, it only takes you so far. A good coach wouldn’t let a boxer prep for a fight with nothing but shadowboxing. At some point, you need to test your technique against a resisting, unpredictable opponent. That’s where real learning happens — and in Jiu Jitsu, that means live training.
But here’s the thing: your progress in Jiu Jitsu isn’t just about how hard you roll or how many reps you hit. It’s also about who you train with.
So what makes someone a great training partner in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu?
Control
It sounds basic, but you’d be surprised how often it’s overlooked. A good training partner knows how to match intensity. If we’re flowing, we’re flowing. If we agree to go hard, then we both know what we signed up for. But the worst rolls are when someone says “light roll” and then immediately tries to murder you. That’s not control — that’s ego in a gi. No one wants to show up on a Tuesday afternoon and have someone treating it like it’s the finals of ADCC or Worlds with $10,000 on the line.
[Finding Balance: Technique Over Intensity in Martial Arts]
Communication
This one is very underrated. If something feels off, a good partner will always speak up. And if you tell them you’ve got a hurt shoulder or a healing rib, they actually listen and adjust how they roll. They will check in after a tough or fast-paced round. They ask questions. They’re not just rolling against you — they’re rolling for both of you to get better.
Technical Focus
A good parter won’t just trying to bulldoze through positions or stall with strength. They try things, experiment, sometimes fail — and that creates space for you to do the same. They’re thinking about the details, even when they’re tired. They might even say “go ahead, try that again” if you mess something up.
Awareness
Good partners are aware of their surroundings, their limbs and your safety. They’re not flailing into other people’s space or trying to finish an armbar while you’re halfway off the mat. They know when to turn it up and when to slow the pace down. When asked to move, they move, or better yet, they notice they’re running out of space and move themselves!
[Brazilian Jiu Jitsu: The Science of Space Management]
The people you train with make a difference
When I first started Jiu Jitsu, as much as it might surprise some of you – I didn’t like it at all.
It was awkward, uncomfortable and extremely foreign. I wasn’t someone who naturally gravitated toward physical things, let alone a sport where someone’s sweat could drip on your face while they tried to choke you out. There were a lot of days I questioned why I was even doing it, and the first month or two I was counting down the minutes until class was over.
But that changed because of the people I trained with.
They didn’t just teach me how to do techniques, they made me feel like I belonged. They rolled with patience and control, offered tips without being condescending and celebrated little wins with me — even when those wins were just surviving a round! Over time, that environment chipped away at my hesitation and helped me fall in love with the process.
Yes, of course, technique is important. Showing up consistently matters. But if you ask me, one of the biggest reasons people stick with Jiu Jitsu — and actually grow in it — is because of their training partners and the friendships they build along the way. A good training partner can make a tough class worthwhile. And on the flip side a bad training partner can completely ruin what would otherwise be a great class.
You don’t have to be a black belt to be a great partner. You just have to care. Show up, stay safe, be kind, and roll with purpose. That’s what really makes the difference.
