We’ve all heard the saying, “Life happens outside of your comfort zone.”
To most, this stands as a reminder to try new things, take chances, do things differently to get different results. However, it doesn’t necessarily encompass the importance of learning how to deal with the reality that much of life includes the involuntary discomfort we will inevitably experience.
How do we move through that kind of discomfort — the kind we didn’t sign up for?
One of the keys to conquering life head on lies in our ability to adapt, maintain our sense of self in difficult situations and redirect energy.
This means knowing how to identify discomfort and recognizing what to do about it.
While martial arts like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai help you learn valuable self defense skills and body awareness, these activities also make great practice for challenging your comfort levels.
The initial step itself is a huge one: walking through the doors to a martial arts academy. Already you’re setting aside your fears and biases, stepping outside of a box you may have drawn around yourself and making the first move.
Beyond that first step to try something new (if you’ve never done a martial art,) the training itself will put you in plenty of physically and mentally uncomfortable positions that will test not just your skills but your ability to stay calm under pressure.
Often these positions have you pinned on your back by someone twice your size, closer to your training partner than you’d like to be, or stuck in a tight spot with an armpit, elbow or knee locked around your face. Then you have the mental struggle of someone who didn’t even look like they could pin you, making you tap. Outrageous.
What does this practice of getting crushed give us, beyond the psychotic urge to go back the next day?
The resilience that develops from that very practice of coming back, again and again, after facing such blatant discomfort will not disappoint you. It may completely surprise you — you may fall in love with a sport you never dreamed possible, never saw yourself doing.
And the best part? That toughness doesn’t just stay tied to the mats and your progress at the academy. You’ll start showing up more confidently in all areas of life — from work to relationships to all kinds of tough responsibilities you may have previously preferred to avoid.
Even tough conversations become somehow easier, as you cast fear aside for a mutual search towards truth and progress.
[Stand-Up Comic And BJJ Brown Belt Ben Roy: Crossing Lines And Living A Life Undefined]
Pushing the boundary
While we must definitely honor and respect boundaries on the mat, pushing our own boundaries is a little bit different.
Discomfort looks different for all of us. Whether we are actively trying to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations for self-development and growth, or trying to learn ways to integrate the ordinary discomforts of daily life, showing up in a way that challenges where you previously stood becomes the first big step.
Maybe pushing the boundary for you means checking out a new academy or meetup and putting yourself out there in a community. Maybe it means doing your first competition.
[Martial Arts: From Fear To Intent]
Longmont Kids Jiu Jitsu coach Tyra Pritt started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu a little over a year ago after watching her sons for two years from the sidelines. Her two sons, Rowdy (Marshall)Â and Wyatt both fell in love with Jiu Jitsu and Easton’s community, and more days than not Tyra spent hours at the academy with the boys. When they finally convinced her to get on the mat herself, Tyra was both excited and nervous, but she loved it!
As Tyra developed commitment to the sport and confidence in her body’s abilities, she decided to try the Easton BJJ Open. She had done some volleyball and basketball in middle school and recreational softball in her early 20s, but had never competed athletically.
Designed as a gateway competition for those interested in that aspect of the sport, the Easton Open inspired Tyra to try an out-of-Easton competition with Grappling Industries. Encouraged by her coaches and training partners, she signed up for a Grappling Industries tournament.
“I had this internal dialogue,” Tyra remembers of the event, “where my muscles shut down and went to Jell-O, and my brain was like, ‘you have no other choice, you have to keep fighting,’ as hard as it was.”
In some ways, it felt like she was in two places at once: the physical fight she needed to fight and react in the right ways to, but also the internal fight — willing herself to keep fighting despite the roaring all around and the muscles that had completely turned off.
Despite her internal dialogue clouding some of the “doors” she can normally see from within different BJJ positions, because of all the time spent practicing, Tyra managed to think under pressure and keep moving. This became the root of the most remarkable thing about competition Tyra uncovered: the observation of what happened to her mind and body — before, during and after competition.
Whether you’re challenging yourself by just showing up or adding the pressure of competition, discomfort will inevitably meet you there. Sometimes surrendering to it lies in trusting the community around you — that they’re looking out in your best interest and that even when you can’t see your strengths, they can.
Building tough moments in
One of the best examples of getting comfortable with discomfort comes down to how we approach training and discipline. We know our goals will take time and hard work. However, when we do have the opportunity to tackle those tough moments during daily life, we put them off or compartmentalize until we’ve nearly scheduled them out completely.
Taking the next step in your martial arts journey, like signing up for a BJJ competition or a Muay Thai Smoker like Allie Readmond can force you to consciously bring more discomfort into your daily life by structuring your training.
Knowing that what awaits you on fight day will be anything but comfortable, you get after your prep with the mindset that you need to prepare for that and worse. After all, in a competitive fight setting, discomfort is typically the least of your concerns — generally a given.
You don’t have to sign up for competitions or striking bouts to work on your mental toughness, however. That can look like trying a more challenging modification in class, or staying in Randori for one round longer than you usually last.
It can look like embracing a craving with a heart of resistance and breathing through it with big, full yoga breaths.
Let yourself begin again
No matter what, don’t be afraid to start over. If you fail, use the opportunity to challenge yourself again. Your journey will most likely look anything but linear, and that’s completely ok. You don’t need to compare yourself to anybody else or use anyone else’s standards.
Real, sustainable improvement happens gradually and reflectively.
We try things, see what works and what doesn’t, and we adjust. We don’t stay stagnant. Maybe we begin to even fear stagnation as we grow in confidence and inner strength.
(Don’t confuse stagnation with peace and gratitude. We can feel content while also striving to become more. Stagnation, however, and the drive for more cannot cohabitate.)
As that fire grows within, so do we begin to approach each and every challenge with new resolve. We begin showing up head on, and find solutions quickly to problems and issues we previously didn’t have the energy to face.
We let our lights guide us to the next steps, we look for opportunities to keep growing and expanding, and we welcome the lessons that discomfort brings. We know we can’t avoid it, so we stand ready; we know that any opportunity that testing ourselves brings will also bring discovery.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.”
Even if you don’t intentionally choose the path outside your comfort zone, there will be times where it will find you. You’ll get stuck in tight subway cars with smelly people or accidentally wear synthetic pants on a humid day; and you’ll definitely say the wrong thing to someone at some point. (Surprise! You’re human.)
As much as we try to control all of our circumstances, you’ll always have bad mosquito bites and discomfort will never fully go away.
Maybe, though, we can decentralize its power by lowering our degree of resistance to it.
The discomfort we put ourselves through is better than that which we’ll face anyways, just walking through life.
