Remember dodgeball in gym class? Yeah, that awkward feeling of being the last kid picked and the one most likely to get clocked in the face with a rogue ball? That was me. Always. In fact, that would probably still be me in any athletic scenario.
The struggle is real
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, the land of cool takedowns and complicated submissions. I was 26 when I first tried BJJ and there I was again, feeling like a floppy pool noodle surrounded by smooth athletes.
Everyone else seemed to be gliding through warm-ups while I resembled a malfunctioning robot. Watching everyone else effortlessly twist and contort themselves was enough to make my brain do a full-on system reboot. The pressure was real, folks.
Not only did I feel physically awkward, (seriously, how do people bend like that?) but the fear of holding back my training partners gnawed at me. I felt like a human roadblock for everyone else’s hard work and hefty goals. Major self-doubt and a sprinkle of “maybe-I’m-not-cut-out-for-this” anxiety flooded my brain.
Eventually, that anxiety — mixed with a little “am I safe here?” — sent me packing. I loved what I had learned, but my anxiety and fear were too much for me to continue training. I thought that was the end of my BJJ journey.
[Why You’re Hearing More and More about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu]
The Comeback Kid
Fast forward to summer 2023. Enter Erin Edwards, a Facebook connection whose kids needed some summer cash. I saw that Erin trains at Matrix Martial Arts, and we began a conversation about the culture there. Long story short, Erin’s gentle persuasion convinced me to give BJJ another shot.
And wouldn’t you know it, the BJJ bug bit me again!
Sure, the anxiety monster still likes to make its appearance, but I’ve learned some tricks. In the past half-decade, my self-awareness has grown massively. I know what I need to feel safe and ready to train. Now, I show up to class extra early to mentally prepare myself (plus watching the Tigers classes is super inspiring.)
The key? Focusing on my own journey, not comparing myself to others. We all have our own pace, and that’s what makes Jiu Jitsu extra special. Most importantly, I’m fighting hard to silence that inner voice that whispers doubts and replace it with a “you-got-this” mindset. Let’s be honest, nobody at this academy has ever made me feel like a training hindrance – that was all me and my overactive ego.
Re-entering BJJ hasn’t been a total fairytale comeback. I still have moments of feeling like a tangled mess, but this time, I approach them with a new perspective. Each technique learned, each escape mastered, becomes a data point and a springboard.
It isn’t about some overnight mastery, but rather a gradual accumulation of knowledge and a growing sense of accomplishment fueled by persistence.
The supportive environment at Matrix Martial Arts provides the perfect training ground. Coaches and training partners’ patience and willingness to help, even when I resembled a confused pool noodle, have fostered a space for focused learning and camaraderie.
The community and supportive environment have both helped chip away at the anxiety, replacing it with the thrill of progress and the bond forged with fellow grapplers.
[The Student’s Job: Tools to Help You Learn BJJ]
The Rest Is Still Unwritten
This BJJ journey has been a crash course in self-discovery. Progress is a non-linear path; it’s a wild Jiu Jitsu scramble – full of unexpected twists, frustrating plateaus, and moments of exhilarating triumph.
The key takeaway? Don’t let the inevitable setbacks or discomfort derail you. Lean into these moments and feelings, and rely on your team to help you — as is beautifully written on the academy walls, “High tides float all boats.”
If you’re ever feeling like a gym class zero, remember my story. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed – at any time. The true victory lies in showing up, embracing the challenge, and celebrating every step, no matter how small, on your own personal BJJ journey.
So, are you ready to take the plunge? Regardless of age, experience, or athleticism, there’s no time like the present to hop on the mats. Give yourself a chance to discover the joy, challenge, and thrill of grappling.
